Cliff Notes of Motivation

Hungry?  Try this: Cheddar Chicken Chowder.  It’s delicious.  Creamy.  Filling.  And definitely NOT for the calorically faint of heart. And, sort of not exactly in keeping with what’s posted below.  Do as you will, not as I say.

 


 

You guys I think I’m going to black out right here and let the expanded metal outdoor table press designs into my fleshy face.  I just spent the last 2 hours typing up this thoughtful and profound post about how I was going to cease the abuse of self and open up to motivation both constructive and purposeful. Except then my browser just decided, “Heh.  Eff you.” and my entire post was lost.  The. WHOLE. THING.  Even that really cool part where I quoted Herman Melville all in context, for crying out loud.  I don’t have another two hours to dredge that giant pile of awesome back out of my brain, so I’ll give you the Cliff Notes.  With turtle pictures.

1) I’m going to focus in on the important bits of my goal scheme, namely the eating and exercising portions.  Then I’m going to shoot an ever-loving bazooka of motivation at those goals and see what happens.

ShirtturtleGirls

 

 

2) I’m going to quit with this whole “tomorrow I’ll get after it” vomitous lie I’ve told myself every day since January 1, 2014.  Since I’m not living in the musical Annie, and even though tomorrow is only a day away it’ll never be tomorrow if I keep using tomorrow as a scape goat.  Tomorrow is today, ya dig?

funny-soon-turtle-ish-pics

 

3) I’m going to aggressively defend and protect my goals and my plans to achieve those goals.  That may mean that laundry gets done over the course of three days instead of a single afternoon, or that we eat left overs more often than before, or that the kitchen doesn’t get cleaned every night (gasp! THE HORROR!).

come-at-me-bro-i-will-turtle-slap-the-shit-out-of-you

 

4) I’m going to stop eating crap foods as of RIGHT THIS FRIGGIN’ SECOND! Crap foods aren’t helping me accomplish crap.  I want protein and vegetables, STAT! And water.  Water would be nice, too.

funny-ermahgerd-turtle-mash-pics

 

5) I’m not going to let my changing blood chemistry over the next few weeks overly impact those around me.  I’m going to try to stay cognizant that working out the sugars, caffeine and other garbage from my body will probably result in a roller coaster called The Terrifying Emotional Doom BatShit Ride that everyone rides blind folded, backwards, and upside down.  It’s my job to maintain enough self control to not  snap the heads off my friends and family and pour rivers of acidic vitriol down their gaping neck holes.  No.  I commit to being as nice as circumstances will permit.

LOLturtle - I_m Nice

 

6) I will not try to escape the confines of my goals, especially using the excuses of “I’m on vacation” or “Gotta enjoy life every one in a while” or “YOU CAN’T OUT RUN ME, FAT KID! GIMME THAT CAKE!” For me, cheat days turn into cheat months.  Or cheat half years.  Clearly, it’s been demonstrated that I cannot cheat because cheat becomes a way of life.  I need my way of life to be different.  Y’know.  Less cheat-y.

break-away-turtle

 

So there it is.  My motivation has been in a deficit for long enough.  I’m losing my gains, and gaining blobby blobs of blob which is the inverse of what anyone wants during pool season.  If my plan is to fit into single digit pant sizes by the time I’m 40 I’d better shake the lead out and get moving.  Good Crossfit+ Good Food + Good Love + Good Friends + Good Laughs = Happy George.

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2 thoughts on “Cliff Notes of Motivation

  1. This recipe looks awesome. I am looking for more healthy recipes and simple menus. I admit I have gotten very lazy in mine and the kids diets. I hope this can motivate me to start cooking and prepping again. Any tips on food prep for you and the family? Still trying to work all that out into our routine, it seems I go for what’s easy which also means boring and bland.

  2. Food prep and menu planning with little kids under foot is difficult. Cooking can be done easily without having to resort to bland or boring, but to do it takes a little extra planning. I try to menu plan for at least 4-5 days, expecting that there will be a couple of days in the mix when we’ll have left overs we’ll need to use up. I like to grill meat a lot because it’s one less pan I have to wash later. If I want to have salads for the week I’ll spend the time as soon as I get home from the grocery story to wash the produce and cut it up for ready-made salads, I’ll boil eggs and leave them in the shell for quick snacks (they won’t spoil as quickly in the shell), etc. I’d say I meet my mark maybe 85% of the time, spending 15% of our time winging it. But, since we’re on a pretty tight grocery budget it’s always in our interest to plan. Does that help at all?

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